Monday, January 26, 2009

A Military Vent and New found Respect...

So today during my usual reading on cnn.com I have read to articles one on 4 Us Soldier that where killed in Iraq, and another on how hard it is on the Police men and women to tell someone "ma'am your son was murdered" especially over the telephone. They briefly mention the military tradition of a knock on the door. So while I never actually lived it in the true sense , I have to say allot of people forget what those military wives go through. Its like an unspoken rule if you live on post or in the surrounding area you always , always call before showing up at someones home because we all know what its like to not be expecting any company and there goes the "knock, knock" at the front door its like everything stops and goes in slow motion, your heart stops and you quite breathing even for a brief second until you look through the peephole and realize its just your next door neighbor looking to borrow something. It's almost like walking on eggshells for 12-18 months with a brief two week R&R in the middle. And how nerve wrecking that is lol you warn everyone DO NOT DISTURB lol you clean everythign in sight , wash a million loads of laundry, stock all the stuff you just didnt buy for the past few months, and lastly you actually grocery shop and not for Lean Cuisine, and canned soups. Because you know with certainty that you and the children are his priority and home is his first stop on R&R.

This brings me to my new found respect for "girlfriends". Obviously you date a soldier you have to expect training weeks, and deployments it just goes with the title. Which too many women have soiled in the past few years, it used to be soldiers and sailors who had the bad reputations now its the women. Its drilled into them at basic that their girls are back home cheating, and during deployments the numerous dear john letters come by the week as some women succomb to thier loneliness. But for those few truly good girlfriends I have to say I have a new found respect. As Im now looking to a deployment in the near distant future lol aka summer I have to say I had told myself months ago that it was comming and not to be shocked and I am not. But now the questions are streaming into my mind, as a girlfriend how do you survive witout the support groups or onpost living meaning the 50 other women whose men are deployed together, sure there is no worry about knocking on your door because you just plain and simple would be the last to know at least in my case I probably would be, if they get injured well thats just the same unless they call you. A sa girlfriend you dont have access to the FRG not even the right to freak out after not getting an IM or a call for 3 weeks and call the rear d just for an update to calm your nerves. Geez and being a not from "home" girlfriend were do you fall on his list of priority visits for R&R I mean you are JUST a Girlfriend and pretty much just expected to cheat. Do you just grin and bear it for 12 months, having not even gotten the closure of departure ceremonies, or do you even have the right to ask? Do you just remain faithfully celibate for a year wondering where you stand or if its even worth it? because just like we have to go through it the men over there are deployed and many of them get desperate and cheat as well. Or will they meet thier future wives on deployment just as my ex husband did?

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