The Search for Balance

I have to say I am sick of being a working single mother at least for right now. I feel like I am at a dead end I work full time just to pay our bills and get by. Im at work for 40 hrs and at the gym about 15 hrs because it helps with my energy levels and sleep and overall mental health only problem with that is I never have time to spend with my kids tantrum free time I mean . By the time we get home its about 7pm thats dinner, baths , and bed ! Im sorry but I am venting here comming from being a stay at home mom that when she had kids had planned on working part time and maybe completing my degree online taking a class or two at my pace until the kids are in school and I can begin an actual career, To working 40 hrs and barely havign time to see my kids , keep up my house, maybe a hint of a social life I am freakin exhausted no wonder I starting to have thyroid issues according to my Dr not to mention where in the world am I suppossed to fit in school so that I can advance at to least to more than $8 an hour and spend time with my kids.

Something has to give! I am running myself ragged these days. And to top it off I am considering at least going to school at liek PCI or something maybe get my Personal Trainer Cert cuz that way maybe by the end of the 10 months of school I will be able to cut my hours at work to 35 as a tech aide/ para which I have come to really enjoy being at a school and @ 35 hrs I have benefits , retirement, etc. So then I could earn some $$ at the gym which I go to anyway.
Then maybe I could have fun with my kids and the gigs are portable and expandable. And hey I can always use beign healthy enough cancer runs in my family for me to be obsessed.

Ahh so there you have it I considered giving up life and moving myself and my kids to a dorm in PA so that I could go to school fulltime but im not the 18 yr old kid that can live in a dorm anymore. imagine confining me to less than 500 sq foot 2 room dorm with a shared kitchen and bath. Im sorry but NO THANKS. I cant do it to myself or my kids.

My inspiration lol and I have come to this idea many a times before but never pursued it.

A personal trainer at the gym and I dont even know her name... During my work out I watched her train some bigger lady which I have an odd obsession with the biggest loser and im not even big but by the time I was done and pickin up the girls at the gyms kid corner she came in to pick up her own daughters! That was awesome in maybe 2 hours im sure she made some $$ and her kids right in the same building!! She prolly made in those 2 hours what I make in a full day at work.

And in fantasy land if I ever get married again and have a baby I could be at home and work a few hours here and there and still have a decent income until I make my way back in to the school system again. Ehhh enough of my day dreaming rant I should get back to work ... reading my email to make sure no one is having issues when I really could have just taken this 20 minutes I spent blogging to be doing a class when I go back to school even the PCI thing YAY